Is my PBRMaterial broken or is dev dumb?

A fully metallic reflects the environment so you do not see its albedo but the reflection which in this case is fully black.

You would need to set an environment texture up to not only see black here: Using An HDR Environment For PBR | Babylon.js Documentation

Or not have the material metallic https://www.babylonjs-playground.com/#0IV1SL#121

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